Job Entry #2


“I don’t know anything about being God, yet somehow I know He knows everything about being me.”


Entry 2

So what is it that I know about being God? Nothing. What is it that I know about being just, merciful, and loving for all of time and for all of humanity? Next to nothing. I do know however what makes me feel the way I feel. Kindness and love make me feel good and safe. Loyalty and agreement make me feel accepted and validated. On the other hand things such as betrayal and rejection make me feel hurt and alone. Violence and hatred make me feel afraid and despised. Tragedy and hardship make me feel helpless and overwhelmed. I could go on but the connection I (we) need to make is how God lets us feel and why. Is God no longer good, just, merciful, and loving if something horrific and tragic happens in my world? If I perceive He has done something good for me or someone I love feel pleased and satisfied. If I perceive that God has allowed or done something to me or someone I love then I feel what…? Unsure? Angry? Betrayed? Confused? Do I stop loving and trusting God because life is not good or life has become suddenly tragic? Does every tragedy and every form of human suffering have to be because God does or does not love ME or I do not love Him? There is a revelation of truth here, some will find it others just refuse to even look. God has given me the ultimate human freedom and the ultimate expression of human liberty… He allows me to choose how I respond and how I feel in any given circumstance. Because of this ultimate freedom and liberty to choose, I know God loves me. For me now the wrong questions are - Why did God allow this? Why is God doing this? Why is God punishing me? Where is God when I need Him? At what point do I go back to my first question - What is it that I know about being God? Isn’t it time to become completely honest with myself?

“I don’t know anything about being God, yet somehow I know He knows everything about being me.”

My questions are different now because I know that I can choose how every tragedy and every moment of suffering will ultimately make me feel. I am free to choose.

God lets me choose - He does not choose for me. Isn’t that good, just, merciful and loving?

I’m asking the right questions even though I know other ones still exist. They are not the right questions for me because they will destroy my hope and kill my faith. I can choose to hope and to have faith in God in spite of the sorrow and suffering of any human or inhuman circumstance. In fact, that is my hope and how I can continue to find and keep faith. I choose these questions…

How can I love?

How can I serve?

How can I give?

How can I pray?

How can I help?

How can I heal?

How can I teach, and how can I learn?

How can I help you make it?

How can I lead the people I love?

How can I find a way to trust and have my faith?

How can I learn from this tragedy and grow from this suffering?

Who am I with you God, and who will I become without you?

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